I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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