Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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