Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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