very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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