No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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