I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
