Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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