I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
