just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
