I'm eating all of the evidence.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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