I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize