I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
