im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I need moral support for this bender
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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