I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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