We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
