I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
