plz talk dirty to me
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
