There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize