What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
