is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
