we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
