i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Every concussion has its silver lining
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
