she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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