Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
