3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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