They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
