my sisters under your porch take her home
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
