I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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