You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
