five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
