why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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