He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
