He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
