Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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