what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
