I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
