it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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