Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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