It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
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