Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize