He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
