He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
