i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
