he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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