What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
So apparently I’m into choking now
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