The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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