Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Im just a social blackout drinker.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
