thus making me awesome and them whores
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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