I smell stomach acid.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
