i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
