I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
