you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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