im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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