What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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