This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
