oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
